Lt. Darkstar
by Kato
Summary: Lt. Anin Darkstar is appionted stormtrooper trainer. But not for long. And poor Darth Vader goes insane dealing with her...


- Stormtrooper General -   
  
Disclaimer: I don't know who george Lucas's gold fish is...and i don't want to know  
  
Summary: What would happen if I were to train stormtroopers....  
  
  
Lt. Darkstar enters the stormtrooper training room. Immediantly everyone stops and drops to thier knees.   
"we are thou stormtroopers who hail you!!" They all shout in illusion.  
Lt. Darkstar, the 12 year old smiles. "Good! Today we will learn something slightly differnt...everyone get into your lines"   
  
She steps onto a platform and plugs in the boom-box. "Today..we're go going to learn the macarena!" Anin smiles mischievly.   
"Ok follow my moves"   
"YES LT. DARKSTAR!" They say.  
Anin puts one hand then two, and flips them, she puts them to her shoulders and etc...   
  
"Anyone who gets it wrong....has to step on this platform with his underwear and do the dance two times! INFRONT OF LORD VADER AND HE GRAND MOFFS! AND EVEN THE EMPEROR!!!!" She laughs evily.  
  
Anin kicks the play botton and the music starts. Suddenly all the stormtroopers jump into motion. A thousand hands and feet stepping and doing the macarena.  
"faster!" Anin forwards it. She laughs as they struggle to dance. "I'm so bad." she mutters.  
  
_   
  
Vader steps onto the holo-thingy and kneels infront of his master, "What is thy bidding, my master?"   
The Emeperor looked down to his apprenice, his yellow eyes gleaming in the dim light.  
"How is your new stormtrooper trainer doing"  
"She is doing fine, my master" replied Vader,bowing his head lower for political reasons.   
  
Suddenly behind vader, the emperor sees a man in his underwear doing the Macarena.   
The Empeor starts to chuckle. vader looks up. "Excuse me?" he says confused.  
Another stormtrooper walks behind Vader and holds up a picture of Vader wearing a bikini. The Emperor starts laughing harder.   
Suddenly a whole squad of stormtroopers walk behind Vader and start singing.   
"I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME! WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY..."  
vader looks behind him. "Holy Lizards!" he shouts. he sees a man doing the macarena in his underwear, a picture of himself in bikini, and a squad of stormtroopers singing a horrid song.   
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS?!!?!?" Vader booms. All of them suddenly stop and points into the hallway, where a young twelve year old is laughing her butt off.   
The Emperor still laughing, falls off his throne. But he gets up still gigling and sits on his throne, all cool like.  
  
-Later in vader office"  
  
"You are too serve food now, for a month. And STAY OUT OF TROUBLE!!" vader yells. Anin looks down sadly.   
"I'm sorry Lord vader"   
Vader turns and leaves, his cape flowing behind him. Anin chuckles as she sees the little sign on his back saying. "I AM A SEXY DARTH VADER"   
  
  
-dinner-  
  
Anin hands another stormtrooper his dish. "eat up" she says bored  
Out of nowhere, a bean flicks at her. "Hey!" She shouts. Anin gets a spoon and loads some mashed bantha suance into it.   
"Ready! Aim! Fire!" She fires mashed bantha suace at the nearest stormtrooper.   
The stormtrooper gets it in his eye-piece and looks at the person next to him. "hey you!" He smashes his pie into the stormtrooper next to him.   
Anin starts throwing food at everyone. "HAHA! DIE YOU FILTHY STORMTROOPERS!!"   
Suddenly the whole room is in a food fight.   
"-You!"  
"AHH!!!"  
"-I'll get for that"   
  
The room exploded in chaos, stormtroopers ducking under tables and chairs some going offensive and some going defensive, Anin used a pan as a shield and a spoon as a weapon.   
*Meanwhile*   
Vader walks manly down the hallway, hoping to get a good lunch today. All because last time he found a bantha claw in his last meal...  
'SPLAT'  
A flying tomato suddenly hit his mask as he entered the room.   
Everyone stopped moving, the lunch room was a mess, full of food and junk everywhere.   
  
Anin winced. "Crap" she mumbled and a thought of emergency came to her.  
"EVERYONE! SPICY MEATBALLS!!" She called. "NOW! BEFORE I HURT YOU!!"  
  
All the stormtroopers in the room stood up strait and began to sing.   
"WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAAAPY NEW YEAR!!"   
Anin slowly began to crawl around the room, and to the oneway exit as she heard the song echoing in her ears.  
"SO BRING US SOME JELLY BANTHAS SO BRING US SOME JELL BANTHS SO BRRING US SOME MERRY BANTHAS AND WE'LL LOVE YOU RIGH HERE!!"   
Anin laughing silently as she heard the phrase. She got to the door and stood up gracefully. Nothing could be easier. She started to step out but felt a hand on her shoulder.   
She looked behind her. An unpleasent black mask was staring down at her, she could sense negetive virbrations coming at her. The tomato was dripping from his eye lense. He growled angry.  
Anin shivered and let out a small. "meow?"   
  
-Later In vaders Office-   
  
vader stalked around the room. "What am I going to DO with you?!" he boomed.   
Anin smiled as she saw the sign still there. vader stopped and looked at her. "do you find something amusing child?"   
Anin looked at him innocently. "No why?" She looked at his back. vader looked behind him and reached a hand over his shoulder. he pulled out a large piece of yellow paper with bright black letters saying. "I AM A SEXY DARTH VADER!!"   
Vader felt sudden ager tighten up in his head. he looked at the girl innocently looking at him.   
Vader was..very..very mad. He looked at her. "excuse me" he said.   
he walked over to the wall and kicked it viciously, like he was trying to murder the wall. he started yelling all these things in a differnt language. then he put his hand to his helmet and screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
He walked back to Anin. "Ahem. Now to decide our punishment..."   
  
* * *   
  
Anin rubbed the floor with a small blue tooth brush. You'd think that vader kept his teeth clean. Did he even have teeth? just out of wonder. She looked around. The lunch room was a mess. She smiled. It sure was fun though.   
She scrubbed the black shiny floor harder. If only she could get the job done faster. Oh well, she was gonna be there a Looooong time. A very looong time....  
  
- THE END -   
  
_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _   
  
Authors note- Don't you just love boredom? Actually writing things like this can actually keep you entertained.   
  
  
  
  



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